i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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