But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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