I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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