I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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