Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
