we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Still dying that you shit outside
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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