i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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