Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
