we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
