youre lurking in front of me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need a beard to bite.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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