You work out of a Hotel?
Non-Jews are for practice
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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