yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
