Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
