ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
wow bdsm is so cute
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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