my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
