You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
