if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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