Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
