I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
