Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
