her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
