She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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