You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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