He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
