32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
