it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
