He had one of those small greek statue penises
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
