I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
