Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
