I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize