Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize