did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
