dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize