No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I deserve this hangover.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
