Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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