did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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