you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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