Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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