The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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