i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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