Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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