I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
