In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
