is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
