too bad you live with your parents still
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize