i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
