I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
