Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
