Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He felt like a one man threesome
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
