What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
