I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
