How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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