how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
