I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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