it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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