very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Blood and glitter go together right?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
