In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
