Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
