Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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