Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
