The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
