You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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