we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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