Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
