Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
